By: Taylor Cain
What prevented you from having people in your home this week? Was it a busy schedule? Was your home a little cluttered? My excuse was the size of my 700-square-foot apartment. We have had our share of small gatherings: holiday parties, birthday parties, and occasional game nights. Our home is cozy, but it is just too small for hosting large groups or families. It is easy to shut down hospitality because I feel like we cannot offer the best to our fellow church members and neighbors.
Adopting this kind of thinking keeps us from practicing hospitality. Though our church’s covenant does not specifically ask us to practice Christian hospitality, it assumes it when we express the expectation to, “exercise an affectionate care and watchfulness over each other.” How do we do this if we never open our homes to one another in fear that our space is inadequate?
Most of us struggle to have others into our homes on a regular basis for one reason or another. Here are four fears we often face when it comes to practicing hospitality.
My space is too small.
You are not disqualified or exempt from showing hospitality if your home is small. Whether your home is a temporary college campus apartment, a duplex, or a sprawling house on 30 acres, that home is given to you by the Lord to steward well. Steward the good that God has placed in your possession. Hebrews 13:16 tells us, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”
Christian, do you not realize that giving of what God has given you is a sufficient sacrifice that brings pleasure to Him? My wife and I have lived in our little home for three years, and the Lord has shown us He can do a lot in the lives of fellow believers with the little we feel like we have to offer. Though our current setup requires some creativity, it still allows us to host gatherings where we can share our own selves with those who have become very dear to us (1 Thess. 2:8).
My stage of life keeps me from being generous.
If you are a covenant member of a local church, then you have the responsibility to open your space to invite people in. When my wife and I were newlyweds, finances were slim. Yet, we had friends, neighbors, and church members over often. Sometimes we would order a pizza or Callie would make a big pot of soup. I remember wanting to buy into the excuse that, “We’ll wait until we are in a place financially to have people over,” but we were convinced that we could be hospitable even with a small budget.
Likewise, it is easy to hide behind the excuse that your stage of life precludes you from being hospitable. We often think because we are single, a college student, a newly married couple, a young family with rambunctious children, or anything in between, that hospitality is not expected of us. My parents have been great examples of hospitality despite stage of life. Over the years, we had families over for dinner, exchange students living with us for the school year, and friends who crashed in our spare room for a few nights when home situations were difficult. My parents’ love for Jesus propelled them to love others well, and they knew that any season of life was a good season to love and care for others.
Others don’t think what I have is sufficient.
In a world that tells us that we need bigger and better things, we can begin to believe our worth is determined by what we have. Then, our hearts wander towards drawing a mirage of false assumptions of others’ opinions of us. Why would someone want to come over to my apartment when it isn’t glamorous and our refrigerator isn’t fully stocked? Yet, our worth is not determined by how well we can demonstrate hospitality, but by how we can emulate Christ’s love towards others.
The apartment we live in does not have a dishwasher, a dining room, or much living room seating, but it has helped me to be thankful and content. Often when I grumble at having people in our home, it is my pride that needs the cool compress of God’s word. We must reflect on God’s Word that helps the prideful heart by encouraging us to press forward in being hospitable (1 Peter 4:9).
I don’t think what I have is sufficient.
Similarly, if we think what we have is insufficient, the temptation rises to covet what others have. You scroll through homes on Zillow. You envision what it would be like to have a cherry-stained deck in the backyard, with patio furniture where you can host large families every weekend. Though our hopes and desires can be pointed in a good direction, they can sometimes dampen our desire to practice hospitality now, and our idealized vision of what hospitality should look like can become idolatrous.
Satan often thwarts the building up of the church community and the sharing of the gospel to our neighbors by whispering into our ears that what we have is not enough. Sometimes we place unrealistically high expectations on ourselves when, in reality, our guests are satisfied with a simple bowl of soup and a pan of brownies.
What does this mean for hospitality now?
Instead of daydreaming about how you could be hospitable if and when you had everything you think you need, cling to the reality that 2,500 square feet, a whitewashed fireplace, and an in-ground pool are not your guests’ greatest needs. They need the gospel, and through hospitality we can share concerns, confess sin, and treasure Jesus together.
In our 21st century society, we have moved from wanting to be like Jesus to wanting to have a home like the Gaines’. Scripture cautions us not to set our hearts “on things that are on earth” (Col. 3:2). Therefore, we must remember that having people in our homes should not be motivated by helping them enjoy our amenities but by helping them enjoy Jesus more. Let’s show one another how good Christ is through our hospitality, regardless of what we have to offer.